i hate myself!

i wish we could go back to the days where chasing was just a game and not a sport.
when dancing was for fun and loving someone was never a scary thought.
when kisses were as bad as a STD and holding on to your friends was never hard to do.
fights never broke out and neither did hearts.
why cant we just all sit on the play ground and tell stories about what we were going to do once we were all president.
whenever you never worried about someone cheating or being jealous.
why is it that once we grow up everyone is out to steal your cookies.
no one is aloud to see you cry anymore
and momma just doesn't want to hear "it"
if growing up is the difference between being a princess for halloween or a slutty cop then don't even bother packing up my stuffed animals.

my immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

all i want to do is trade this life for something new

you make me sick!
you walk around saying you know what love is all about
but no!
step back
you broke her heart
look down
you dont deserve her!
the only reason she cant move on is because
the hardest part of ending is starting again.

bigger then us

i got my wish
but when i look in your eyes i cant help but think time only lasts as long as a feeling.
this feel is forever. i guess i finally found my way in to your head.
love is more then time, more then a song, bigger then me and bigger then us
but all we can do is remember what "love" stands for.
you make me feel like im flying. with you i can kiss the sky
im forever in your arms. you make sparks fly.

a hop, skip, and a leap

today I looked back into the eyes that pushed me off my feet
only to find them picking me back up.
i want to love you with all my heart but I'm too scared.
what if i fall again?
I hadn't thought about that nightmare for a while now but I cant get the shivering fear out of my head. I'm almost too scared to close my eyes and walk with you leading me
but I trust you. forgive and forget. here goes everything. a hop skip and a leap.
my head thinks long term my heart acts now!
please let time have them work together.

love, the best weapon ever!

The day i give my love happiness
will be the day i give my enemy revenge

Its Never too late to take back what you did.
who you are is never defined by where you've been.
although you cry from the mistakes you've made
no one can judge you because we've all made them too.
seasons change
fall comes and goes
and no one will know if you don't let it show.
its ok, don't hold it to your heart
you're human and Its never too late to look back on your past
fakers fall, haters cant stay, but true love lasts.
I'm with you for better or worst but i will never know if you don't let me in.
I cant be true to you unless you let me be your friend.
Don't ask for forgiveness with out forgiving yourself
Don't try to change it, its a lesson to learn
never forget. always remember. Its never too late.

just like i know superman doesnt only save one person,
you dont fall for just one girl

but it sure is nice to wish, right?

overcoming fear.

I've come to the conclusion that our break ups aren't fate telling us we shouldn't be together
i think its just God putting our friendship to the test
and the reason it feels so good when we hold hands is because somehow we both know we passed the test.

my break through.

you loved me and not one other person could have made me happier
you cared, you listened, you seemed to always be there
but what happened?
simple complication
miscommunication?
what ever it was all i know is
what ever you were, is what ever you're not.
it was a best friends turn around
relation ship lost and found.
too bad I'm not the one who picked it up.

oh, who are you anymore?
i cant stand my break through.
i found out who you are but i lost who i am.
what ever you were, is what ever you're not
games being played, dice being tossed
i cant keep up, i cant keep up.

i had my break through
but what do i break to get back though you?
a simple complication
miscommunication
what ever you were, is what ever your not
are you keeping up?

its all an act
nothing but a game
you hide the rule book
and yet here i remain
but im slowly finding it out
this was my break through
my finishing thought
never crawling back to you.

I'll always love you
never forget
the reaction we had when we first met
the love must be fading but
please never remember to forget me

list of dos and donts.

DONT!
call me,
text me,
say my name,
talk about me with ...her,
look at me,
look for me,
say you miss me,
say you ever loved me,
cry for me,
cry over me,
or think about.

DO!
leave me alone!

9/20/10

100 hours
50 love songs
40 heart beats a sec.
30 minuets staring into each other's eyes
20 thoughts
10 frights
5 heart breaks
4 tries
3 words
2 people
1 kiss

you have to forgive me. (repeat)

im finished with this game of chase
hide and seek just isnt fun anymore
when your finally ready to come out of hiding well
give me call.
just this game of back and forth well... im finished playing
now... ill close my eyes and count to ten
and when i open i hope to see you again.

under the streetlight, eyes closed, love with me.

every change i get
i look out of my living room window
out into the street
under the blue street light
where you once said you would kiss me in the rain
the rain would fall but no love in sight
love in front of me but the rain not in the sky
we were perfectly happy before we diced to have a happily ever after
that light will burn out sooner or later
i just hope by then my happily ever after is filled with memories of you.

p.s. this isn't logic this is love.